you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
