its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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