Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We are two peas in an std pod
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
