Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
