So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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