I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
