Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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