just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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