Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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