Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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