with your own penis?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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