You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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