it wasn't lemon gatorade
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
