if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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