im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
