some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
