i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We got so high we made milksteak
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The air taste purple.
Randomize
