We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
