I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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