I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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