Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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