what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
