Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
