Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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