hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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