I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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