Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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