He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
