I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's official drugs can't kill me
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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