matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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