i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
