so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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