We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
