like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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