drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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