the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
