so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
