A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
