Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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