If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
