What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
