Me. At least after what I've been through.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
