Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
