Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
