woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
