Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
