Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
