remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
