he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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