just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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